


Amazing Grace

by Taybay14



Series: Saving people, writing prompts [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cute Confessions, Destiel - Freeform, Fluffy, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Anguish, Mind Manipulation, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 16:36:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19009627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taybay14/pseuds/Taybay14
Summary: A prompt fill from my tumblr :Hi, I hear you're taking prompts? 😊 Could you do a post S13, where Dean is injured during a hunt. As a result, he ends up deaf or blind. I don't mind which. Also, maybe make it Destiel? But not already in a relationship. Thank you. 😊- Thank you, joham-fate!** there shouldn't be any spoilers for season 14 in this, since this injury does not occur in canon.





	Amazing Grace

“He’s not talking to anyone about it,” Sam warns Castiel before the angel can even open his mouth to ask.

 

Castiel glares at Sam as he rips off his trenchcoat. Not only did Dean’s brother fail to call him immediately after finding Dean's vessel emptied of Michael - waiting four fucking hours before telling him that Dean was blinded- but he also seems to be trying to convince him to leave Dean alone. It’s not going to happen. Castiel doesn’t care what stubborn Dean Winchester wants. He doesn’t care that Dean doesn’t like Castiel healing him. He doesn’t care that Dean likes to suffer in silence. Sam isn’t stopping him this time. 

 

Castiel will fix this.

 

“Cas,” Sam warns again, grabbing his arm when Castiel tries walking by him to get to Dean’s room. 

 

Castiel takes a deep breath, reminding himself that he loves Sam almost as much as he loves Dean. “Sam, I’m going in there. Don’t even think about trying to stop me.”

 

“He’s really upset.”

 

“Well, I can imagine. The man can no longer see!”

 

“No, you don’t,” Sam closes his eyes and shakes his head. “You don’t understand the full extent of it, Cas.”

 

For the first time since storming inside the bunker, Castiel actually slows down and pays attention to Sam. “What do you mean?”

 

“It's not just his eyesight. It's - Michael did  _ something  _ to his mind. I don't know what. Whatever it is, though, that's what's making him blind. His eyes appear otherwise fine. Uninjured. Not hazy or weird looking like Pamela's were. There's no reason for him to not be able to see. But he just  _ can't _ .”

 

Castiel can hear that there's more, even though Sam stops there. He asks, “What else?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“What else has Michael done to Dean's mind?”

 

Sam winces. “I'm not sure. But he's different. Almost void. He recognized me and smiled when he heard me but it was distant. And he just gives short answers, his voice floaty like he's distracted. Sometimes he winces, too. Like he's in pain. And when he does that, he presses his fingers against his temples and squeezes his eyes shut.”

 

Rage thrums beneath the surface of Castiel’s skin. When this is over, when Dean is okay, Castiel is going to hunt down Michael and kill him slowly. Painfully. 

 

“I need to see him,” Castiel tells Sam.

 

Sam nods. “I know. I just needed to tell you - warn you - first.”

 

With a tight smile of understanding, Castiel excuses himself and heads down the hall toward Dean's bedroom. When be gets to the door, he places his hand against the wood and closes his eyes. He can feel the emotion pouring from the man he loves. It's blue. So very blue. 

 

He pushes the door open and sees Dean jump, clearly unsettled by the fact that he can't see who it is. Putting him out of his misery, Castiel quickly whispers, “It's okay, Dean. It's me. Cas. You are safe.” 

 

Dean relaxes on the bed and beneath all the blue, Castiel sense a slight violet. The same color he sees in his mind when Dean looks at him a little too long, or when his touch lingers on Castiel as he walks by. 

 

Sitting on the edge of the mattress, Castiel looks into Dean's unblinking eyes. Sam was right, there's no visible injury, but he still needs to at least try. 

 

“I'm going to touch you. Stay still,” he warns. Then he places two fingertips against the center of Dean's forehead and closes his eyes to concentrate. He feels his grace build and build and build before - nothing. 

 

There's nothing for him to fix. Or, more accurately, nothing he is  _ capable  _ of fixing. 

 

“You can't help, can you?” Dean asks, resigned as he sinks into the bed and squeezes his eyes shut. 

 

For a moment, Castiel is quiet. He pulls the thick blanket over Dean and tucks him in, then softly cards his fingers through the man's hair. “No, Dean. I cannot fix this. But we will find a way. We always do.”

 

“I'm scared,” he admits, his voice cracking down the middle. 

 

“So am I.”

 

“He did something to my mind too. Not just my eyes. I can feel him inside it.”

 

Castiel tenses. “What do you mean?” 

 

Dean looks up at him. Even though he can't actually see Castiel, the skin around his eyes tightens when they land on the angel. Emotion floods the bright green irises. “Every time I think, it's like he's pushing against the thoughts. He's making me doubt everything. Making me worry. Making me lose all hope.”

 

“Dean-”

 

“Cas, do you love me?”

 

Startled, Castiel is thankful that Dean is blind - as terrible as that makes him - because Dean can't see the swift reaction the question yanks from Castiel. It takes everything in the angel to swallow the lump in his throat and croak out the question, “Why?”

 

“Because I always hoped you did, and he's saying you don't, and it's driving me fucking nuts. He's bothering other thoughts too but this one feels like he's screaming at me. Like he's slamming himself against it with all his might. I need to know the truth, Cas. Please.” 

 

With a soft touch to Dean’s cheek, Castiel whispers, “Yes, Dean, I do.” 

 

Big green eyes blink up at him as if Dean can actually see. “Really?”

 

“Of course.” Castiel shifts his fingers until he’s cupping the side of Dean’s face. He smiles when Dean leans into the touch and hums in appreciation. “How could I  _ not  _ love you, Dean?”

 

“How much time do we have?” Dean asks with a frustrated little huff. “I could list things all day.”

 

“Anything you could list would be a reason to love you, Dean. Trust me. I’ve watched you be an idiot for years. I’ve seen you drink until you can’t walk or talk. I’ve seen you make some questionable choices for sexual partners. I’ve seen you sacrifice yourself for family. For the world. I’ve seen you fight with Sam. Fight with me. I’ve seen you hate. Love. Grieve. Fail. Succeed. I’ve watched you laugh until you cry. I’ve watched you cry until you laugh. Dean, I - I’ve seen you in hell.” He pauses, allowing all of that to sink in. “When I found you, you had a blade in your hand, an innocent soul on your wrack.” 

 

“She wasn’t innocent,” Dean mumbles in a weak defense.

 

“She was in hell because of a deal she made for her dying 3 year old son, Dean.”

 

Dean slumps back, eyes sliding closed. “You never told me that.”

 

“You knew they were all mostly innocent, Dean. You’re smart. You understood the truly evil souls didn’t need to be put on your wrack.” 

 

“Yeah. I - yeah.” Dean scrubs a hand against his face. Then he laughs at himself. “Why the fuck would you love me if you knew I knew that, Cas?”

 

“Because,” Castiel whispers softly. “You were never more human than in that moment I saved you, Dean.”

 

Scoffing, Dean says, “Yeah. A weak human.” 

 

“No. No, Dean. That humanity was your strength. It always will be. The angels say I gave up everything because I fell in love with humanity, but that’s not true, Dean. I fell in love with  _ your  _ humanity.”

 

A silence falls over the room, heavy and overwhelming. Castiel knows he needs to let it remain until Dean is ready to talk. It’s easier said than done. 

 

To distract himself, Castiel shifts on the bed so he can pull Dean into his arms. He presses his lips against the top of his head before resting his chin in the spot. One hand is resting on Dean’s hip, holding him tight, while the other strokes soft circles on his bare arm. 

 

With a deep breath, Dean asks, “Do you regret it?”

 

“No.”

 

“Have you ever?”

 

“Not for a second.” Castiel smiles to himself. “I’ve regretted many things, but you, Dean Winchester, is not one of them. Never will be.”

 

“Even though I’m blind and useless now?”

 

Castiel chuckles, trying to pretend the words don’t twist a knife in his chest. “First of all, you could never be useless. Second of all, don’t underestimate us. We’ll fix this.”

 

“One of these days, we won’t be able to fix it. What if this is that time?”

 

“It’s not.”

 

“Cas-”

 

“Dean, it’s  _ not _ .” He forces himself to move past the fact that he’s pretty sure his relationship with Dean has gone from friends to romance, focusing instead on the problem at hand. “Talk to me about him. What is he doing right now?”

 

Dean pauses, trying to do an assessment. “Nothing. He’s silent.”

 

“Hmm.”

 

“What?”

 

Castiel shakes his head. “I want to test a theory.”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Close your eyes.”

 

For a moment, Dean just stares at him - or a few inches to the left of him - green eyes bright. Then he does as told. It takes him a few seconds but he finally relaxes against Castiel, keeping his eyes closed, and waits patiently. 

 

“Keep them closed until I say. Promise?”

 

Dean shifts, then nods. “Promise.”

 

“Good.” Castiel takes a deep breath, then whispers, “Dean, you can see. He’s saying you can’t but he’s wrong. He’s messing with your head. You can see.”

 

“But I  _ can’t _ .”

 

“Just like you couldn’t believe I loved you, until I convinced you otherwise. He’s not inside you anymore, Dean. It’s just like when Sam got his soul back. He saw Lucifer, and Lucifer could drive him crazy, but none of it was real. Michael isn’t inside your head, Dean. I can’t sense him. There’s no grace in your body.”

 

“Then why can’t you fix me?”

 

“Because there’s nothing to be fixed, babe. It’s all in your head. You can see, Dean. He just wants you to believe you can’t. But I promise, you can. You can see.”

 

Castiel feels Dean sink into his hold. “I’m afraid. What if I open them and I can’t?”

 

“You can, though. No reason to be afraid. Trust me.” Castiel presses a kiss to his forehead. “You can see. Say it.”

 

There’s a long pause but then Dean nods once and whispers, “I can see.”

 

“You can. I promise.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Do you trust me, Dean? Do you believe me?”

 

“Yes,” Dean says without hesitation. 

 

“Then open your eyes.”

 

Dean hitches a slight breath before slowly opening his eyes. He stares straight ahead without blinking and Castiel’s heart begins to sink. Just as he’s about to apologize for getting Dean’s hopes up, for making an educated guess and being wrong, Dean’s launching out of his lap and turning around so he can straddle Castiel. 

 

With wide green eyes, Dean studies every available inch of Castiel’s face. His hands come up to map it as well. He smiles and a tear falls from his right eye. “I forgot how beautiful you are.”

 

“Rude,” Castiel teases, his lips pulling into a smile as his body sags in relief. 

 

Dean rolls his eyes. “Shut up, you know what I mean. I just - I never let myself look long enough. I never got much of an opportunity to memorize the details.”

 

“Well, then. Take your time.” Castiel sinks back against the pillows, getting into a comfortable position. “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

With a shy smile, Dean begins to study him more thoroughly. He maps his forehead, his fingertips dipping into the wrinkles there before smoothing over his eyebrows. Castiel’s eyes flutter closed so Dean can gently touch each eyelid, then caress the soft black lashes attached to them, tickling Castiel’s cheekbones where the hair kisses the skin. He taps the bags under his eyes, worry churning in his gut because angels shouldn’t look so damn exhausted, then traces the crows feet that are barely noticeable at the moment. He smiles to himself, thinking of how deep they get when Castiel grins. When he laughs. 

 

Castiel blinks his eyes open and Dean memorizes them. The color is so deep and pure, but just along the inner edge of his right iris there’s a lighter blue, same with the left. It’s the same shade as angel grace. 

 

Dean blushes when his fingers touch Castiel’s soft pink lips. He’s imagined kissing them so many times. They’re fuller than he thought, plump and giving as he prods at them. The dip in the bottom lip is just big enough for the tip of his thumb to rest there. Castiel parts his lips ever so slightly to make room and Dean’s breath catches. 

 

Their eyes lock and the room fills with an electricity that makes even the angel shiver. 

 

“What are you thinking?” Castiel eventually whispers, when the air around them has built toward a lightning storm. 

 

“How thankful I am that I can see this. That I’m here - right now - doing  _ this _ .”

 

The lips surrounding his thumb twitch into a smile. “You’ve touched and seen, but you haven’t tasted.”

 

If Dean didn’t feel like he was standing on the edge of an abyss, maybe he’d tease Castiel for how smoothe that was. He’s too in over his head, though, and all he can do is grin like a complete idiot. “Maybe we should fix that.”

 

“Oh, we should definitely fix that,” Castiel says with an air of authority. 

 

Taking Dean’s wrists in a gentle hold, he moves his hands so that Dean is cupping Castiel’s stubbled cheeks. Dean has only a second to appreciate the new texture before those lips he was just studying are against his own. He gasps into the kiss, eyes wide open like he’s afraid if he closes them, he’ll never be able to see again. Then Castiel’s tongue darts out to lick along the seam of his mouth and Dean can’t help but melt against him, parting his lips and closing his eyes. 

 

They spend the rest of the night in Dean’s bed. Each new area that’s exposed to Dean is observed, traced, and tasted. Castiel takes turns too, even though he memorized the man’s body long ago. Castiel kisses each freckle on Dean, and Dean kisses each scar where an angel blade nicked or sliced Castiel. They explore and catalog every inch until they could conjure an image of each other with their eyes closed. 

 

Then they explore a little more, just for the sake of touching and tasting each other. It’s nearly dawn by the time they get around to making love. It’s mid-afternoon before they wake up and manage to emerge from the room. Sam is standing in the kitchen, stirring rice and veggies in a pan on the stove. He turns to Dean with a worried expression, ready to ask how he’s holding up, when his eyes lock with his brother’s. He knows immediately that Dean can see him. 

 

Before he can rejoice or ask how Castiel fixed him, Sam begins to register other details of his brother. He’s wearing Castiel’s white dress shirt with only two buttons done, in the wrong holes by the way, making one side drop lower than the other. It’s slightly too big for Dean, something Sam would never dare point out, but it makes it so one shoulder is uncovered as it droops down. The shoulder matches Dean’s exposed collarbone and throat, which are covered in bruises. Sam grunts, looking over to find Castiel bare chested and wearing a pair of Dean’s worn out sweatpants. His grace has faded most of the marks on his body, but it does nothing to battle the obscene sex hair, flushed cheeks, or kiss swollen lips. 

 

Sam can’t decide if he should be wishing he were blind, or if he should be jumping up and down in a fangirl-like joy. He settles for in between. 

 

“Three things,” he begins, looking between his brother and the angel. “First, how can you see again? And is it permanently fixed?”

 

“Michael was just manipulating his thoughts through the damage he did while inside him. Once I helped him overcome those mental blocks, he was fine. It should be permanent. He hasn’t heard Michael since last night.”

 

The two exchange a look that makes Sam uncomfortable. He does  _ not  _ want to know what was distracting his brother.

 

“Okay - uh, great. Good.” Sam sees a new mark on Dean, a full bite right on his trap muscle, and cringes. “Two, then. If you are gonna be doing - well -  _ this _ , here, then there needs to be ground rules. Don’t be gross.”

 

“Gross?” Castiel asks in equal parts curiosity and confusion. 

 

Dean grins mischievously. “Whatever do you mean, Sammy?”

 

“I mean  _ gross _ , Dean. I grew up with you, asshole, remember? I don’t wanna be walking in on you two doing things on the fucking kitchen table or couch or -  _ oh, god  _ \- or the library! Don’t you dare ruin the library. Or my bedroom! Bedroom and library are strictly off limits, I don’t care if I’m across the country and you know you’re safe. Off. Limits.” When Dean’s smile just grows, Sam points a finger at him like he’s scolding a small child. “I’m serious, Dean! Cuddling on the couch and kissing and what not is fine - but I’ve seen your naked ass too many times in my lifetime. I don’t need to see it again, especially not while you - you - ya know -”

 

“Actually, Sam,” Castiel cuts in, looking pleased with himself since he now understands. “You would more likely see mine, as Dean is the bottom in our-”

 

“Hey, no!” Dean yells at the same time Sam sputters, “What?”

 

All three stare at each other for a long time. Sam breaks the silence with a shudder and a whispered, “How did that whole blind thing work? Were you mentally blind, too? Because I’d like to be mentally blind right about now.”

 

“No,” Dean says, looking like he’s caught between humiliation and amusement. “You’re stuck with that mental image, little brother.” 

 

“Well, then, the least you can do is keep it mental. Keep the nakedness away from me.”

 

Dean opens his mouth, but Castiel nudges him with an elbow and rolls his eyes. Sam can’t help but notice how, even when Castiel is trying to silently scold Dean, the angel can’t bite back a giddy kind of smile.

 

Castiel turns to Sam, nodding. “We promise, Sam.”

 

“Fine,” Dean says with a dramatic sigh. “We promise to  _ try _ .”

 

“Well, I suppose that’s all I can ask for, then. 

 

“Didn’t you say three things?” Castiel asks with his hand in the air like a shy kindergartner. 

 

“Yes,” Sam says, finally allowing himself to grin. He steps forward and grabs both of them by the back of their necks, tugging them into a group hug. “Number three,  _ fucking finally _ . I’ve been waiting for this since the damn apocalypse. I thought for sure if the world ending wouldn’t get you two to realize you were meant for each other, nothing would.”

 

Pulling back, Dean smiles over at Castiel, practically creating hearts in his eyes. “Guess all it took was someone teaching me how to see.  _ Really  _ see, this time.” 

 

Turning back to his food, Sam begins to add more ingredients so all three of them can eat. Castiel goes to the fridge and grabs a bottled water to share with Dean while Dean begins to make coffee just a few inches to Sam’s left. 

 

After a minute, Sam begins to hum, forcing back a smile. At first, Castiel and Dean just continue what they’re doing. Dean pours coffee. Castiel sips water. They sit down together, Castiel taking the entertainment section of the newspaper and Dean taking the comics. 

 

It isn’t until Sam starts muttering the words that Dean freezes. He manages to get seven more words out, “- lost but now am found, t’was blind” before the rolled up section of newspaper is wacking the back of his head, sending him into a burst of laughter. 

 

Unaware that Sam was teasing, Castiel picks up the song with his soft, raspy voice, “T’was blind but now I see -” As he continues, Dean settles back against the counter, staring at the angel in wonder as he sings off key and scans the newspaper for what Dean is sure will be some movie for them to go see that Dean will hate. 

 

Sam stops stirring, observing his brother watching the angel. Dean’s never looked so happy. The amount of relief and joy that floods Sam’s body makes tears well up in his eyes.

 

_ Amazing Grace, indeed.  _

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't already, follow me on tumblr @ https://destiel-love-forever.tumblr.com/


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